My Journey Through Shame, Discipline, and Father God’s Mercy
My Journey Through Shame, Discipline, and Father God’s Mercy
My life has been a long road of learning, stumbling, and being restored by Father God. I grew up in the Lutheran faith, doing everything I thought made me a “good person.” Yet beneath the surface, I struggled with sin, shame, and confusion about who God truly was.
Early Years and Misunderstandings
I viewed sin on a scale—small sins and big sins—never realizing that the heart behind them mattered more than the size. Lust, shame, and hidden thoughts followed me into adulthood, even as I tried to live rightly.
Military Life and Deep Failure
During the Vietnam era, I entered the Army hoping for a safe path. Instead, I found myself drifting spiritually. Drinking, pornography, masturbation, and other sins became part of my life. A painful betrayal by someone I trusted brought me to bitter tears and deep grief over who I had become.
Father God’s Gentle Intervention
In my darkest moment, I asked Jesus back into my life. I asked God for a sign—a lamp beside me blinked at that exact moment. I laughed, and I felt God laughing with me. It was a turning point.
I found a church, met my wife, and built a family. But later, disillusionment with church leadership and my own drifting heart led me back into old patterns. Lust returned. Shame returned. And Father God disciplined me in a moment of severe chest pain that shook me awake.
Restoration and Purpose
Father God brought me back. He guided me to a new church, new understanding, and a new hunger for truth. Looking back, I see how He prepared me through every step—every failure, every sorrow, every moment of mercy.
Father, thank You for never giving up on Your children.
