My beliefs have changed.
A Vision That Changed My Questions
There are moments in our walk with God that reshape us—not by giving answers, but by awakening deeper questions. This is one of those moments for me. What I experienced was unexpected, unsettling, and ultimately transforming. I share it here in the hope that it may speak to someone else who is wrestling with the mystery of God’s ways.
The Vision
In an earlier post, I mentioned a vision I had—not a dream, but something that happened during a conversation with Jesus. As I was speaking with Him in my mind, as I often do, I suddenly felt Jesus and the Holy Spirit get up and leave my presence without a word. It felt like standing before a group of people, speaking to them, and watching them all silently rise and walk away.
I was stunned. How could Jesus leave without saying anything? I knew there was no point in continuing to talk, because no one was there anymore.
Then I found myself standing in a completely desolate place. Imagine a world with nothing—no creation, no sound, no presence—just a ground like sand beneath my feet and enough light to see that there was absolutely nothing around me. Not even God. I was totally alone. I wanted to cry out to Him, but I knew there was no use. I remembered the Bible saying hell was everlasting and wondered, “Oh my God… is this where I will go when I die?”
Processing What Happened
After the initial shock, I tried to reason through it. Was this real? Was it something in my imagination? I had no answer. Then I wondered if I could talk to God again. Slowly, I began speaking to Him. I asked many questions: Was this real? What did it mean? Is this where I will end up forever?
Even though I received no direct answers, and even though the thought of eternity in that place terrified me, I still felt God listening. There was a strange peace in the middle of it. I also noticed a change in how I spoke with God. My talks with Jesus had felt close, like two friends speaking. Now it felt as though I was speaking to Father God—farther off, deeper, weightier.
The Questions That Followed
Since that day, I’ve asked Father God questions I don’t think I would have even considered before:
- Can someone lose salvation
- What is hell
- What is salvation
- What exactly did Jesus do for me
- Who are God’s children
- Are only the chosen ones saved
- What happens to those whose hearts God hardens
- What is heaven
- Do we go to heaven or to the new earth
These questions all grew out of that vision, and my beliefs have been changing little by little ever since. They are still being shaped as Father God answers me.
What I Believe Now
I believe we are all God’s children. He made us, He owns us, and we belong to Him. I believe we will all return to Him when our oneness is complete through Jesus and peace is restored.
But I also believe the chosen—the elect—are a different kind of God’s children. They are the ones God empowers to become His true sons and daughters in a revealed way. They are the priests, the lights of the world, the ones who recognize their need for a Savior and enter a covenant with Jesus to teach them and keep them on the path. They are the firstfruits.
The Gods We Make
No one has seen Father God. We see evidence of Him through creation, but because our eyes have not seen Him, humanity creates its own gods—things we credit for our well‑being.
In the Old Testament, these gods were idols with names. People worshiped them for fertility, victory, crops, rain, healing, or even to curse their enemies. God wanted to show them these idols were nothing—just objects taking up space. So He chose Israel to reveal Himself to the world.
Today we don’t bow to carved idols, but we still have man‑made gods—wealth, careers, beauty, health, intelligence, education, or anything we depend on for our well‑being and credit to our own power. Through God’s chosen ones today, we learn that all these things are meaningless and that everything good comes from God’s will.
What Hell Is
I believe hell is grief, sorrow, remorse, regret, and shame for unreconciled sin. Scripture speaks often about shame, and to me it sounds like the essence of hell.
We are all called to repentance and belief. Repentance means taking ownership of our sins, being truly sorry, asking God for forgiveness, and asking for help to turn away from them. God knows our hearts. He knows whether we are truly sorry or holding something back.
I believe Christ bore our grief and sorrow—He took our punishment. But only for the sins we truly regret. If I don’t regret a sin enough to repent, then there is nothing for Christ to bear. Jesus doesn’t take away the sin itself—He takes away the grief, sorrow, and punishment.
“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.” — 1 1 Corinthians 13:12
Mercy and Compassion
God told Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.”
I now believe His compassion sent His Son into the world to take our punishment. His mercy comes through our repentance.
Think of two children with different personalities. One is truly sorry and won’t repeat the offense. The parent shows mercy. The other says he’s sorry but will do it again. The parent disciplines him. We might give up on that child—but God never does. He knows what He is doing.
When God Hardens a Heart
When God hardened Pharaoh’s heart, it once seemed harsh to me. But I now believe God did it to show that He alone was the cause. There could be no other explanation.
But what happens to the person whose heart He hardens?
“His reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him.”
Recompense means compensation or payment. Scripture says His recompense. I believe God will compensate the person whose heart He hardened. This principle even appears in His laws:
“If an owner destroys a slave’s eye, he must let the slave go free to compensate for the eye.”
Closing Reflection
This vision did not give me answers—it gave me questions. And those questions have drawn me deeper into the heart of Father God. I am still learning, still being shaped, still being led. If anything in my experience speaks to you, may it encourage you to bring your own questions to Him. He is not afraid of them. He uses them to draw us closer.
