Testing my faith
I have said that I've learned to trust the Lord in all things. In my post "Salvation" I talked about how the Lord has saved me from great harm from a number of things throughout my life. That building of trust in the Lord has come from looking back at the many things that happened in my past. God had to have had a hand in them. Well, lately I have had thoughts of questioning the very existence of God. Maybe I've just talked myself into believing. (Satan working again)
Why am I starting to question things you might ask. Back in August of 2015 I posted "Funny Dream". In this dream, it was like God saying to me that the problems with my back will not be as bad as I envision, and we shook hands on it. I was telling God at the time that I will trust Him in whatever happens, but I said it in such a way as to try and build up my trust; "I WILL TRUST YOU LORD."
There was no time frame when or how much better my back would get. At that time, I was envisioning me becoming an invalid, not being able to do anything. I still have back pain and sciatica. It is better some days and worse other days and even though this has put limits on things I can do, it has not shut me down completely. I now have some stenosis in my upper spine, shoulder and neck areas, and I am starting to have prostate problems, my PSA number is going up. I long for a body like I used to have were pain was from over working or exercising.
I know that our timing is not God's timing. I believe that the bodies we will have in the next life will be amazingly so much better than these we have in this life so maybe I will just have to wait until then. I think about the many stories in the Bible where the imposable became possible. Maybe there is still something in store for me in this life. I will just have to wait and see.
Why am I starting to question things you might ask. Back in August of 2015 I posted "Funny Dream". In this dream, it was like God saying to me that the problems with my back will not be as bad as I envision, and we shook hands on it. I was telling God at the time that I will trust Him in whatever happens, but I said it in such a way as to try and build up my trust; "I WILL TRUST YOU LORD."
There was no time frame when or how much better my back would get. At that time, I was envisioning me becoming an invalid, not being able to do anything. I still have back pain and sciatica. It is better some days and worse other days and even though this has put limits on things I can do, it has not shut me down completely. I now have some stenosis in my upper spine, shoulder and neck areas, and I am starting to have prostate problems, my PSA number is going up. I long for a body like I used to have were pain was from over working or exercising.
I know that our timing is not God's timing. I believe that the bodies we will have in the next life will be amazingly so much better than these we have in this life so maybe I will just have to wait until then. I think about the many stories in the Bible where the imposable became possible. Maybe there is still something in store for me in this life. I will just have to wait and see.
6/25/2026
A lot has happened since I posted this back in December of 2017. I have had two surgeries in my cervical spine, two surgeries in my lumbar spine, several other surgeries, and radiation treatments for prostate cancer. I still trust Father God in all of this. One thing I have come to understand, if I had not had all these issues, I would not have this blog. My thoughts are often on how to solve the world's problems, so to speak. Having these issues brings my thoughts back to this blog and onto Father God and Yeshua. I really do like doing this and I am constantly learning and understanding the kingdom. If this work brings people to Christ and into the kingdom, I am more than happy. I am happy if people find the WAY through this work. Thinking about my Hammer story, doing this work through the Holy Spirit and Yeshua is me becoming ONE.
